Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Little News

Hi everyone, i have had little computer time for several reasons, one is because I can talk now and move about out of the couch.... another is lack of connectivity and the third is that the storm has passed and things are improving very very well, very very slow, but well. I miss the frequent interaction with my friends, and I get a good laugh and a great feeling when i get complaints about "hey, why arent you updateing your blog" ....I do feel special, he, he,he. After thinking about time and who I wanted to be with, I decided to go to Spain with my folks. I also get to visit with my grandma, she's my 94 year old inspiration and role model. I sleep a lot, eat well and enjoy the weather and my nieces, nephews and dear cousin Ana. This sure beats the hospital.... (LOL). I dont have access to internet at my parent's since we are here for such a short period of time, so I dont check emails or the blog often.

I did have many messages from new people who are going to do similar surgeries and were seeking information....ahhh, one of my wishes came thru - to be able to be an instrument of help thru my experience.

As for me, spirits are up, flowers are blooming, breathing is impecable, sleeping is ok as long as I take my insomnia meds(10 hours or more), otherwise, still struggiling to battle insomnia, but iit will come - My goal is July. My body is getting stronger and i have a much more balanced digestive system, not 100% consistently but much improvement. I think it has a lot to do with my ability to move and be able to exercise and I am down to only one med as opposed to 6! My upper lip is at 90% painfree and the nerv and muscle connection are noticable every day. My lower left quadrant is 60% and my lower right and chin, still numb, no feeling. The gums still excert pressure against the teeth as they are re-aligning and finding their new home. I still find temparature changes to impact my teeth, so i am careful about extremes...My face is recovering well, not used to it but at least I now have more definition to my face and the cheeckbones are showing up =).
So, all is looking up and progressing well (slow) but well.
I leave you with my latest learning - Keeping a positive mind is the simple ingredient, at the same time as being and accepting 'what is'. It takes diligent work to stay well connected with a holistic view of myself, the total person. This healing time reveals the importance of recognizing the unity of my mind, body, emotions, and spirit. I am working hard to continue to be aware of the present moment without falling in missing so much what I am used to....this is a new life, I got a new lease in life!...I do miss my co-workers and amazing energy and satisfaction I get from my professional life and Cisco and I look forward to my return. It has been a very fulfilling journey that has helped me free energy that was locked in only few parts of my life. I live more fully and effectively, very centered in my experience, I reach up and out daily to take what the world has to offer with an open mind and without any physical or emotional attachements.
much happiness and health,

Monday, May 7, 2007

Be strong and balanced

Here I am...last Friday ...still a bit swollen but can pretend....a pretty good 'fromage' with a better expression than 2 weeks ago, right?

I hope this post finds you all in great spirits, with high energy and surrounded by love.

Sorry I have not written in a while...things have been mixed - relieved from wires, moving on, not moving on....yes, life's been a paradoxy in the past 3 weeks.

I had several doctor appointments and things are progressing slowly (at least for my pace of life)

I am doing wonderful (paradoxy)– to put things in perspective…..slowly healing – the mouth is much better without all the wires and archers – by 1,0000 x – the lips are not connecting very fast so I am still on the one medicine and some other mild ones, not as harsh as the Codeine. The teeth hurt as usual...about a '6" and i brush them very lightly...The chin will be numb for 5 more months, the bones will take 2 years to fully heal, I still cannot eat any solids, but I can open my mouth and stick one finger in ;o) – progress, progress!
My body I still pretty weak and managing to get rid of all the meds so it too is healing. –
I saw 3 other doctors at Stanford last week, in conclusion, my stomach is not doing well yet – it will come. My heart decided to rebel, but I have many more tests, thus far they found a heart murmur, it appeared after the second surgery – so I think we need to just monitor it. My immune system is a bit out of wack and my thyroid decided to stop working – (this last one is easy to fix with a little pill) –

For now, I will have to stay off work given all the medical conditions and that physically two surgeries do take a while to get strength back, I need to let my body catch up, and continue to be patient thru this healing process....still learning. I so much wanted to see my Cisco friends and family! I miss Cisco and the people so much.
As to what I have learned in the past 3 weeks is that pain continues to become my friend. Friends, as you know we choose. So its a play between what the body needs to do to repair and willful self-effort to overcome it. Half of it you have no control over, half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consecuences in how you feel the rest of they day. We are not entirely puppets of this pain nor are we the captain of the ship...its a little of both. I once read this and felt it was so much what I experience: We will gallop thru this recovery and pain as circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses, one foot is in one horse called 'fate' one is in one called 'free-will'...And the question you have to ask every day is - which horse is which? which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?
There is a lot about this pain that you cannot control, but you can control how you react to it. I can decide how I spend my time thinking about it or keeping busy, how I choose the words to describe this pain, (sometimes there are none), and where I focus my energy (in and out). So in the end, I choose what to read, who to interact with, what I eat...I can also choose how I regard unfortunate circumstances in my life...wether I will see them as obstacles or opportunities. At times, when I cant rise to the optimistic view of things, because the pain does take over...I remind myself, that in this situation, I CAN choose my thoughts....and send healing energy to my mouth.
This process reminded me of the Balenese culture. The Balenese are global masters of balance, the people for whom the maintenance of perfecdt equilibrium is an art, a science and a religion. Children are taught to approach all hardship and discomfort with a 'shining face", a giant smile (that would be pushing it for me, but you get my drift).
Havent found the prefect balance or magic formula....but i have reached an answer to my ever lasting question: so what can I do about this pain? Nothing, this is the nature of the body's process to heal, I now worry about my crazy head...and how to manage the mind, and this practice works the more intentionally I do it, it brings great peace to me and the healing process. This is the same concept as happiness...it is the concequence of personal effort...you fight and insist for it. You have to participate relentless in the manisfestation of your own blessings....I pray to God that I can hold on to peace & my blessings daily...and my family and closest friends continue to be a great force of inspiration.
My guru told me that the body is made up of more or less 5 elements: fire, water, wind, sky, and earth....to stay strong you must meditate on all these 5 and you will receive energy from all of these sources and you will stay strong. This is my practice daily -
So my experience is the same in the end, except I am confident it's better to be happy on this journey!
My blog has truly been therapy and the people who have read it and keep telling me..."hey, where are you? you havent written? what's up? - are truly what keep me going ....I have to share that this process will give you such gifts if you open your heart and mind to it....I realize that petty irrations that once maddened me, are no longer problems...and some amazing britght and beautiful people began to arrive into my world, some that had not surfaced for a while and that I had mistaken how much their friendship means to me.
Last, i wish there was a way to properly acknowledge my cherrished parents for all their kindness, great sense of humor and courage thru this last 3 months...I dont know how to ever express or demontstrate to them what it means. To my friends ...thank you for showing such tremendous human genorisity... regardless of wires, pain or closed 'lips' i will find a way to say 'THANK YOU'....to you - and I will do as long as I have a voice...I will forever and sincerely THANK YOU.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Wireless! Me too...sign up for Cisco's Latest Technology!

If this is your first time visting the blog - the key topics on MMA are denoted by *** Starte in March to see history, X-rays and facts....

Here we are, riding another wave!...onward, onward!

Hi and Cheers from the Ex- Heavy Metal girl!

YESSS! today my arch bars and all the hardware store in my mouth is gone!!!

I forgot what it feels like to not carry all this metal and weight around....but believe me I am so glad it is all gone. We left at 9:30 this morning, my girlfriend Shasta came to get us. We arrived at Dr. Li's office and the anestethiologist was already there, boy he had review my whole file....and almost life....which was a great feeling, in 20 minutes, he connected the IV...and in 10 seconds i was asleep. I then woke up an hour later or soand saw the nurse and since I could not talk I wrote down some questions:

Did you get the license plate of the bus that hit me?

Did they deliver my pizza yet?

Was it a boy or a girl?

Can I get a room that doesn’t spin so much?

Did they remove all of my tattoos?

What year is it?

What name did I use when I was admitted?

What is the in-flight movie?

I can do it.

I can’t do it.

I didn’t do it.

Are we in Paris yet?

When does the buffet open?

That’s against my religion.

Will this put me in a different tax bracket?

Did they get the bullet out?

Could I get a room that is closer to the pool?

Would you like to hear me sing?

How many unicorns do you see?

Has my Probation Officer called?

Have the photographers from Vogue arrived yet?

This is my surgeon, Dr. Li...Isn't he the cutest! his hands are like dancing butterflies and smaller than a 10 year old's hands - (notice i am tipping foward here, as I am a 'head' taller than him...he's a genious.

the last of my arch bars - gone today!
Dr. Li's Angels! They make my day when I go in - what beautiful girls!

Monday, April 16, 2007

April 17 - up and down...

hi....just to report that my pain has been managed with the pain killers, one is with codeine...popular among my friends..only kidding.

Although, after some great days of just the 'usual pain' ...with the 'I already know what this pain is like" manage it, surrender, keep your mind bussy...it will pass....then last night at 6:30 - a very steep lower lip/jaw pain showed up, got me on my knees...today the same thing. I felt like the bunny in this picture.... - i was in good stable spirits during the day, wen to lunch with one of my great friends from Cisco, had fish..yup solid food - heavenly solid food...I even paid my taxes...(that was painful to my pocket)...went to post office with dad, and they almost closed the door on our face....and then after 6:30 - pain, pain and more pain - it's past midnight and i am on pain...

I think is the nerve system again as explained in the other days and is also the fact that the arches and wires are just putting tremendous pressure on my jaws. So this Wednesday will be a blessing to get this off - I dont have to go Stanford hospital, it will be in the Surgeon's clinic...at around 10:30 am. SO turn on the prayers, energy and souls to this side of the country and world and send them all my way - sound selfish? well, in times like this - I am.

and i will leave you with some humor! have a great night and wonderful week. I will write again on Thursday or Friday -

I cannot identify more with Randy....I stay away from the refrigidator these days!

No way, by now I probably could have bought a mountain in California - =)

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Eat, Heal and Love!

Hola ALL, Hope you are having a terrific day – if you are not….by the end of my email, I guarantee you one! But all-the-way to the end – so stop for 4-5 minutes. That is all it will take….get to the ok?

Most important for me to share – is I ate homemade meatballs and rice!!! Yes, solid food. I swear, and don’t underestimate me… I had the best meal of my life!!!! The blog continues to be a good work in progress and I get lots of great feedback on it. I haven’t published it yet, but hopefully by Friday – that is my new goal. I have updated and refined previous sections, added a couple too. There are more pictures to the sections and more to come…with Friends and Family….. As for mine, well I still am looking very much like Jay Leno or the lady en le “planeta de los simios” for the Spanish speakers. Got a while for looks to be back….but my spirit is back!

I can eat solif foods.....next it will be a carrott....yeah right! but dreaming is good -

Pain and Healing - Other news, Pain is up and down, but very well managed as opposed to last week. The back of jaws have healed wonderfully – the front is the trouble that is kicking and screaming to heal. The front teeth hold a lot of anger….and the thousands of nerve endings keep connecting every second and also kicking and screaming….it’s really a B….th…. The 200 stitches inside the mouth are all gone – they dissolved and they were like little butterflyes in the sink – took about 5 days to all dissolve and fly away. There is barely a scar in my cheeks - ;o) thank God for tough skin – you cant even tell. All of it will heal in 6 months _ totally heal – that’s the Dr. diagnostic, but the good news is that all of it IS healing and today is better than last week – onward! Riding the wave.

Other areas: The purple bruises are all gone, face and neck skin is back to normal, although it was so stretched, It too is finding its new home. I still have little pumps in my skin – from the stretching of the second operation. My body has lost 20#’s – a good thing, however, it is weak despite all the healthy organic foods (check out the menu section) …I guess its too much for it with meds and not a lot of movement. Physically, I can only go for a couple of hours and then I feel like I did a triathlon, never the less, I get out every day just a little. The weather is beautiful.

And to finalize the good news, ALL my arch metal bars, braces and wires are coming off , YES OFF, the 18TH at 10:00 am. My Dr. does not want me to go to Stanford again, so he is bringing the anesthesiologist to his clinic…..isn’t he the best? He said – his got a max. quota of 2, that patients should be a Stanford and I reached it – so it’s on him to make me comfortable as much as he can….without further news,

I found this message very pretty so before closing i will share it - what is Spirituality ?
The end of religion is the beginning of spirituality; the end of spirituality is the beginning of Reality and the end of Reality is the real Bliss.

I leave you with this great video! it takes 3 minutes and its so invigorating - warmly, Anabelle


Sunday, April 8, 2007

Day 18 after Surgery II *

Hi, today is Easter Sunday - a great day to write you and give you an update. I am on the couch having a nice cold one!

A week ago, i could not event write, as you can tell by my picture, much better since last Thursday. The pain seems to want to do what it wants....some times during the day it lets me know its there (all day) but then during sunset or so, it really tells me it's there and it does so till 1:00 or so am when I take my Ambian and meditate .....finally falling asleep with hopes of a brand new day.
So I am still on different pain meds and codeine.....Down to 2 only as opposed to 4 last weeks....this is one heck of a mending operation - mind you - its the Second Surgery....so on my first one I can tell you that my pain was less by this time....much less. And I am sure you will only have to do 1 operation.....so you will be done! by day 18!

Well, as all my friends write and call - why? why? what's going on? Well, we are not sure why this is persisting so long. My gums have a great deal of pressure and pain, as when someone punches you out! the guys know what this feels like, the girls if you ever had your wisdom extracted well that x10. Both lips lips hurt in that the nerves and muscles are mending still.....and there are thousand of them. So I am still on very very limited talking...I am still going in sane without being able to talk to you on the phone.....but I will start to have visitors this week and then control my talking....
My Dr. is not sure why this is taking so long to heal....out of the many surgeries he performs, all very similar for different reasons, he has only had to do a second surgery on one other patient ever....so this too must be an experiment in itself for him.
Lessons learned, ahhh yes, there is no section without lessons learned: I am still learning....regarding pain, i can tell you that what is emerging for me is that this time home without anything else to do is guiding me into a path of insight and learning upon which I would otherwise would have never set foot. I am definately learning a greater meaning of life! Our lives are full of misteries, and some may be unsolved...that too was a lesson this week. havin said that, you dont have to have this much pain in order to discover this simple lessons...So this process is teaching me to treat the breathing issue, so the physical, as well as the spirtual equally. So i want to ensure that when i refer to energy...positive - i mean physical and spiritual...so i need to bring those 2 to the same level playing field, as we say in business. I find myself seeing a lot of my experiences and people who are in my life, well their actions, when positive and kind and their souls speaks to me .....i take very personal....when others have not shown themselves...i have learned to take this more on an impersonal terms, so i view our union with an overarching concious level without any blame or judgement.
I begin to understand that the energy that resides in us, physically and spiritually and in our minds, is the same as God's, or the greater divinity, if you prefer. So my life choices affect my spirit and health. In so, i am learning how to manage this pain... experiencing patience and surrender techniques (not easy). I once read that difficulty and illness are a necessary part of our spiritual evolution. So I now interpret that that I must, everyday...every minute work at creating meaning of this diruption in my life.
Have a great week, and that's all folks!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

The Children in my Life.....

The latest Pinto Baby - born April 20Th....his name is Nico and he lives in Madrid - he is just such a little garganzito -
Marina and Mariona, halloween in the US!
Valerie's little one..... of 3.

Alejandro doing his best - yum yum....(it was Titi's day to feed him)
Alberto with his serious look -

Mariona and Chou - 2 years ago.

Peek a boo.....Maria's children - Leonor and Adrian in Provence.

Here are Mariana and Nati 18 months ago in Venezuela.

Sami and Janae a year ago.

Sofia and Eugenia in Caracas!

Sebastian and Nico, one my closest friend from Peru, his boys! cutest little guys -

Mariana...my little mermaid.

The clown in the family - Nati

Marina in Croatia with grandma Pili

Nestorin - future husband...

Future husband flirting

Mark - the little flea of them all! Began skiing very young - he is 4 now!

Aiden, San Francisco!

Luciana! Peru's Ironman!

Juanmi in my pool! 2 years ago

My baby! sleeping

Mariona! Tampa

Crazy Samira! playing Marilyn Monroe

Josh! Josh and gorgous Josh!

Maya! 4 months old

Vanessa - 13 years old - Halloween!

These are the little people in my life, who bring me enormous Joy! I am the 'richest' (in love) aunty in the world - also known as TITI...