Day 18 after Surgery II *

Hi, today is Easter Sunday - a great day to write you and give you an update. I am on the couch having a nice cold one!

A week ago, i could not event write, as you can tell by my picture, much better since last Thursday. The pain seems to want to do what it wants....some times during the day it lets me know its there (all day) but then during sunset or so, it really tells me it's there and it does so till 1:00 or so am when I take my Ambian and meditate .....finally falling asleep with hopes of a brand new day.

So I am still on different pain meds and codeine.....Down to 2 only as opposed to 4 last weeks....this is one heck of a mending operation - mind you - its the Second Surgery....so on my first one I can tell you that my pain was less by this time....much less. And I am sure you will only have to do 1 operation.....so you will be done! by day 18!

Well, as all my friends write and call - why? why? what's going on? Well, we are not sure why this is persisting so long. My gums have a great deal of pressure and pain, as when someone punches you out! the guys know what this feels like, the girls if you ever had your wisdom extracted well that x10. Both lips lips hurt in that the nerves and muscles are mending still.....and there are thousand of them. So I am still on very very limited talking...I am still going in sane without being able to talk to you on the phone.....but I will start to have visitors this week and then control my talking....

My Dr. is not sure why this is taking so long to heal....out of the many surgeries he performs, all very similar for different reasons, he has only had to do a second surgery on one other patient ever....so this too must be an experiment in itself for him.

Lessons learned, ahhh yes, there is no section without lessons learned: I am still learning....regarding pain, i can tell you that what is emerging for me is that this time home without anything else to do is guiding me into a path of insight and learning upon which I would otherwise would have never set foot. I am definately learning a greater meaning of life! Our lives are full of misteries, and some may be unsolved...that too was a lesson this week. havin said that, you dont have to have this much pain in order to discover this simple lessons...So this process is teaching me to treat the breathing issue, so the physical, as well as the spirtual equally. So i want to ensure that when i refer to energy...positive - i mean physical and spiritual...so i need to bring those 2 to the same level playing field, as we say in business. I find myself seeing a lot of my experiences and people who are in my life, well their actions, when positive and kind and their souls speaks to me .....i take very personal....when others have not shown themselves...i have learned to take this more on an impersonal terms, so i view our union with an overarching concious level without any blame or judgement.

I begin to understand that the energy that resides in us, physically and spiritually and in our minds, is the same as God's, or the greater divinity, if you prefer. So my life choices affect my spirit and health. In so, i am learning how to manage this pain... experiencing patience and surrender techniques (not easy). I once read that difficulty and illness are a necessary part of our spiritual evolution. So I now interpret that that I must, everyday...every minute work at creating meaning of this diruption in my life.

Have a great week, and that's all folks!